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But this is the reality many Orthodox Christians in North America and Europe today.
Some lucky few have relationships with parents or spiritual mentors that are close enough and mature enough to provide some guidance and advice in the search for a mate. Even if they do ask for advice or guidance from a priest or parent or other responsible person, many young people are merely seeking confirmation for what they already feel or think or lust for.
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For most of history and in a large but shrinking portion of the Orthodox world today, single people did not have to worry about who they would marry: someone else chose for them. We cannot imagine not choosing our own hair style, clothing and career path; much less not choosing our own spouse.
In the best cases, the people involved had veto power; that is, neither one had to accept the match. We vainly imagine this power of choice is the same as freedom, but if we have no basis on which to choose other than our subjective urges, transient likes and dislikes, and fantasies based on movies, novels and occasional glimpses at internet pornography, then choice is not freedom but bondage: bondage to the ideals of a sick culture and the passions of a fallen mind.
Now I know this topic has been talked about over and over on blogs but Ive never seen it done on Bluelight and I thought it would be interesting to get some input from Bluelighters! Id call it someone that you only ever see with the intention of sleeping with.
You dont hang out outside of the bedroom and you dont call each other up the next day to say you had a good time, unless youre calling for another session.
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But it can be a tricky situation if its not done right.